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I found a copy of the Twilight AU that became 50 Shades of Grey.

steppauseturnpausepivotstepstep:

lychgate:

chucknraleigh:

ryeisenberg:

ryeisenberg:

  • It’s called Master of the Universe.
  • It was originally published on Fanfiction.net (aka where fanfiction goes to die).
  • E.L. James’ pen name was Snowqueens Icedragon because of course it was.
  • Snowqueens Icedragon does not use quotation marks. 
  • She does, however, make up expressions like "my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba" and “I can almost hear his sphinx-like smile through the phone.”
  • They spend more time filling out sex-related paperwork than they do actually having sex.
  • This is my reaction to all of the sex scenes:
  • image
  • Because the human body doesn’t work like that
  • This is my reaction to everything else:
  • image
  • Because the english language doesn’t work like that.

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer just dropped, so here’s a link to the original Twilight fanfiction that the book is “based” off of, because if you’re gonna read the book before you see the movie you might as well read it in its original format. 

i got through three pages before i had to stop or risk throwing my laptop across the room

image

image

he makes bella blam just from blowing on her titty

it took like 5 years, but finally the truth is really out there. bless you internet for holding on to everything forever.

(via willy--d)

12,606 notes

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

(via ohitsstilljazmin)

57,673 notes

gospel-stitch:

Getting to a place where you genuinely wish the best for people that have hurt you is a great place to be. Forgiveness is rad. Impermanence is awesome. 

(via ohitsstilljazmin)

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Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. Benjamin Franklin (via kushandwizdom)
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Don’t let them tell you who to be. Be anything you want as long as it’s good. House Of Hippies (via thehouseofhippies)

(via kushandwizdom)

1,584 notes

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi (via kushandwizdom)
1,892 notes